I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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