Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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