dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
