these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
