Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
