i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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