When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
