I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
