He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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