You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Couch. On fire.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
