So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
