Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
