is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
