shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
