just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we're making bets on your personal life
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
