Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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