he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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