My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
