3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
