get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
