I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
