i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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