WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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