forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
