The maid of honor just puked.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
