idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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