And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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