Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
