Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's blow job season.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Randomize
