i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Farmville is her only friend.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
