she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
