remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
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