Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
