Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
