i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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