margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I need to calm my uterus...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
