I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
