She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
