If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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