i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
