I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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