I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
