he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
