Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
