I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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