i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
