no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
