My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
