Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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