I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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