Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
