her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
